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Friday, June 24, 2011

Can I get some PEACE

So much drama in this pregnancy so far.  All I want is to have a normal pregnancy like everyone else, a safe delivery and a healthy that to much to ask for? It seems everyday there is something new to scare me to death. I really want to just enjoy being pregnant and so far all I have done is wish it my mind the quicker its over the quicker she is here safe and in my arms. I was told at the doctors office last week that I have a large polyp on my cervix. I was like "WHAT" I had never even heard of a polyp on your cervix before. Doc said if my pap smear came back abnormal ( which I knew it would) then she would want to remove it in fear it was cancerous. Well the thought of someone messing with my cervix at only 20wks was not appealing to me. My fear was it would cause trauma to my cervix causing it to open and I would have to deliver the baby.  At 20wks she would never survive.........Well I talked to Steve and decided that cancerous or not I was not letting her remove it until I was at least 30wks when I knew the baby was viable if born and then we could deal with whatever after she was born.  Steve agreed with monday morning I go to the batroom and I had some bleeding (as usual) I wiped and stood up and turned to flush and HOLY CRAP there was this piece of skin on the toliet seat, looked like a kidney bean. I paniced but took a tissue and picked it up.......and put it in a bag and then called the doc. Of course she had me come in, She did and internal exam and the polyp was completely gone, the damn thing came out on its own, which does not normally happen. She checked my cervix with a colypscopy and said everything looked normal and she was not going to worry about it till after I deliver and recheck me them.......WHEW!!!!!!  So I got back on Monday this week 6/27 for my monthly baby check up to listen her heartbeat and measurements. Praying all is on track as it should be.........she is moving and groovin in there :)  I never imagined I would be so scared and so worked up about this, but I am. I guess when you are so in love with someone that just the thought of something happening to them sends you into a tale spin. 

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